Rats Wars Diaries
by NatzandtheRatz
Summary: The humorous account of Rats Wars (my other SW fic), from the POV of everyone's favourite characters! Probably a good idea to read 'Rats Wars' before reading this one
1. Default Chapter

PG, English, Action/Comedy/Romance Disclaimer- Sigh. Never mind what goes on in my disillusioned little mind, Boba Fett, Dengar, Manaroo, and any other characters/planets/species or anything else Star Wars related are not my property, they are Lucas' all the way. But I had fun making up my own new Rats Wars characters/planets/species and everything else, which aren't Lucas'. Mwa ha haa! Fornia and Chayni, they're all mine! I understand this totally undermines a lot of Expanded Universe stories, but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. And I know I've chosen to ignore some things from EU while incorporating others, e.g. Dengar and Boba are allies, but the Bounty Hunters guild doesn't exist. I don't care. Lol! This is how I would have the Star Wars Galaxy. Only, as EU has already been written, I had to call it Rats Wars instead.  
  
A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy....blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda This is Rats Wars. So, all you über Star Wars nerds out there better not read any further. Please, for your and my sake. I promise you won't like it. If you are a Star Wars nerd who's completely ignored the above warning, and are determined to read this story, please do not send me your hate filled and venomous emails. I promise I will ignore and delete them, so if you spend 3 hours writing mail that thoroughly expresses your hatred of me and my little ideas for Star Wars, it will just be a waste of your time and my email account space. On the other hand, feedback is appreciated. Just not of the hate-filled kind. Thank you!  
  
RATS WARS  
  
During the 2 years after the events of Return of the Jedi, the galaxy has been in turmoil. After the initial euphoria of defeating the Empire, the rebels realised they didn't have a clue about running the galaxy, and there were still quite a few factions supporting the Empire causing trouble. Luke and the gang retired to some distant planet to train Jedi for the two years since the Death Star was destroyed. Now, the new Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, with the help of Luke's new Jedi, has managed to restore peace to the galaxy. 


	2. Boba's Diary

Boba's Diary  
  
16TH January  
  
Hey Diary  
  
This is so stupid. Kick-ass bounty hunters do not keep diaries. Stupid parent. Making me promise like that. Yeah, ok, a diary when I was 10 sure, but please, I'm 37. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Plus I have to cart it around with me everywhere. The stick I got at Jabba's Palace for it. And off Vader. Oh well, he got 'lectrocuted, so I guess that's what you get for dissin me.  
  
But anyway. Dengar hologrammed me bout a minute ago. Asked me if I'd heard about the bounty on Suli and Zaen. I was like 'No, Den', I've been sitting in a Sarlacc for the past two years, with my fingers in my ears, humming loudly', and Den was all 'Don't joke about stuff like that Bo'. So I'm like 'Whatever. What's the word on them? Anybody found 'em yet?' and Den's like 'No but I know where they are.' I was interested (understatement of the millennium) and I was like 'proceed.' Den goes: 'They're babies. Live on Trangor Prime. I need you to tag along though. Manaroo won't let me go on my own, plus am needing Slave I's weapons.'  
  
I was a tad confused, and was like 'I thought your wife had got you off the whole bounty hunting scene, Deng'. But he goes 'have you seen how much they want for them? She's practically pushing me on board to go get 'em!'  
  
Anyway, I digress. I know how much is offered for Suli and Zaen. I think it's the highest bounty I've ever seen in my whole, like, career, including the whole Solo thing, so natch, I'm going with Dengar. We're rendezvousing (is that how it's spelt?) on Trangor P's moon, and then we're gonna go and get Suli and Zaen. I hope Dengar's info is secure, though. I can't help wondering where he got it...  
  
Laters,  
  
BF  
  
17TH Jan  
  
Met up with Dengar on TP's moon. There's, like, every other BH in the galaxy here, as well. Crap.  
  
Gave Den' a piece of my mind about the secureness of his info. I was like 'Who the hell told you where they were?' and he's like 'It was an anonymous message. I didn't know it was sent to everyone else!'  
  
But it wasn't. I never got the message bout Suli and Zaen. Wonder why that is. Perhaps someone doesn't want me here. Hmm... But before I could figure it out Den's like 'We should get going if we want a chance of getting them' so we're leaving in about two seconds. I shall have to write up what happens after we get back, cos I'm not taking this thing with me.  
  
Wish me luck  
  
(Like I need it!)  
  
BF  
  
22ND Jan (I think)  
  
Bloody hell. That did not go well. I'm totally not in good shape. I'm on Coruscant, being looked after (how embarrassing. I do not need looking after) by Den's sister. Yeah, I didn't know he'd got one either. She's this little obscure sub-senator for Correllia or something, called Fornia Alorida. Bloody stuck-up, too. Can't say we get on.  
  
But I'm being very confusing. Let me start at the beginning. Got to Trangor Prime with Dengar. Suli and Zaen thing obviously a set-up, cos there was like every Jedi in the galaxy there, including Skywalker and his entourage. Bugger. Den, the bloody coward, goes 'I'm getting out of here. Two little kids aren't worth a battle with Jedi, no matter how many credits they're up for.' But I stayed. What an idiot! I was curious, though. I know the person who sent the hologram to everyone else had missed me on purpose, and I wanted to know why. So off I trotted, away from the battle between BHs and Jedi (what a bloody mess that looked. I didn't get involved. I remember what happened all the other times a Fett faced a Jedi) and I found Suli and Zaen (well, two babies anyway) in this temple thingy, but Skywalker and co. had got there first. I kept to the shadows, and watched. This guy stepped out of the shadows on the other side of the temple, red lightsaber glowing. I guess he was a Sith. So this means the Sith have come back. As soon as I'm fit again I think I may inquire as to how much this info is worth, unless Skywalker's told everyone already. But it was kinda weird, cos I couldn't tell what species it was. It wasn't human or Mon Cal or Zabraki or whatever, the Sith was just... fuzzy. As in blurry, not Wookiee-esque. Hmm... Anyhoo, this Sith bloke had the babies in his one arm, and the lightsaber in his other hand. Skywalker challenged him, and bloody hell, this Sith guy didn't even blink and just knocked Skywalker out. Hell, I was worried then. You know you're in trouble when the good guys are beaten. And they all were- Solo (hurray!), Leia, the Wookiee and that Mara-Jade chick were all unconscious. I saw why Den left then- no kids were worth this- and I was just about to get gone myself when the Sith dude goes to me (how he knew I was there I do not know) 'Can this be? The great hunter Fett refusing a bounty?' I turned, blasters raised, but the Sith was too quick and totally cut me up with his lightsaber. Not immediately fatal wounds, but I lost a lot of blood. Totally stained my armour. How the hell I'm gonna get it dry cleaned I do not know. But anyway. Just before I totally fell unconscious, sure I'd be meeting Jabba again pretty quickly, I heard Slave I firing, and I was aware of the Sith leaving, and then someone hauling me onboard Slave I. I guess it was Dengar. Then... blackness.  
  
I woke up here, in a kinda comfy bed, with sunlight streamin through the window. Everything was white, with a red border going round the room. For a split second I thought I was dead, but then I realised- red and white- Correllian colours. I thought I was at Dengar's but then this Fornia chick comes in, and explains it all- Den brought me here, but Manaroo holo'd to say she was pregnant so he went to her and left me here with his sister. For a senator she's kinda hot, I guess. Brown hair and dark blue eyes. She goes to me when she came in 'You're awake then' in this fussy tone of voice like I'd inconvenienced her in some way, so I'm like 'yes' and she cast an annoyed over me and left. Well, looks like I'm gonna be here for some time, cos injuries quite bad, so this uptight senator chick is gonna havta get used to me.  
  
BF  
  
24TH February  
  
Y'know, it ain't that bad here. Fornia's ok now. For the first week she was all uptight and prim and proper, so I pretended to be all common and stuff on purpose to annoy her, but I dunno how, one day we just started talking.  
  
To piss her off I said she didn't look at all like Den, and she goes she's only his half-sister, and we ended up talking about our families, and get this, I told her. Yeah, I, Boba Fett, Mr keep-schtum himself, actually told Fornia, who I'd known for about a week, the truth about me. The whole clone thing. I never even told Dengar, my best friend, about that. And she wasn't all weirded as I thought she would be. She was like 'Wow. I'm sitting here with Agent Smith.' And I was like 'Say wha?' She was all 'You've never seen the Matrix?' and I was like 'the what?'  
  
So then she tells me all bout this planet Earth (dumb name), which is like a gazillion light-years from our galaxy, in this crappy little star system all on it's own. It's totally worthless, I mean, it doesn't even have repulsorlifts or hyperdrives or anything very technological at all. But, saying that, it does have, like, the coolest culture around. First, there's this Earth- Culture music, which I can't believe Jabba never capitalized on, cos I'd so have E.C. music on 24/7 if I was a Huttese crime lord. I was like 'I can't believe I've never heard this before' and Fornia said that everyone involved with the whole Empire/Rebel thing missed E.C. Which is a shame. I guess I'm kinda lucky I got attacked by a Sith, cos now I know about The Rolling Stones and Michael Jackson and The Darkness and stuff.  
  
And its not just E.C. music that totally rocks. There's these things called movies, kinda like flat screen holograms I guess. They're cool. We watched, like, millions today. The Lord of the Rings trilogy (ok but totally old fashioned, even for Earth. Much better if Aragorn had a blaster and some Mandalorian armour, but hey), Pirates of the Caribbean (still with the old fashioned but there were guns), Titanic (yawn. I say no more), and Bridget Jones' Diary (I dunno. As a total evil type I'm probably meant to hate movies like that, but I thought it was quite cute), and the best of the bunch by far, the Matrix trilogy. Actual technology! Joy!  
  
It was fun. Me and Forn', I think, might even be friends now. Which is bloody scary, because I don't 'do' having friends, 'part from Dengar obv. Quite worrying. Stupid conflicting emotions.  
  
Confused  
  
BF PS- can't believe I forgot this. No idea how, but earth knows about us! Our galaxy I mean. They've made movies about it! Called 'Star Wars'. What a STU- PID name! It totally portrays Vader in a good way! Bloody weird. I'm in 'em, too. Don't see so much of me in the older ones, but in the prequels you see me and Dad. But the actors playing everyone look nothing like the real us. Things wrong with the movies: Vader was not that tall. In his dreams. Han Solo was totally not that selfless/brave/good-looking. Why am I a bad guy? Why? I am not evil! Just out for the money! Like a million other people weren't doing the exact same as me! Why does my ship look filthy? I get that washed, like, every week. And, finally, like Kenobi could ever take my dad in a fight. Whatever. But I'm still glad hardly anyone knows about E.C., or I'd be totally screwed. Can't have people knowing I'm a clone, now, can I? Am also kinda annoyed that Fornia played dumb earlier when I told her 'bout the clone thing, but I guess I would have been a little freaked if she said she already knew before I told her. Thoughtful of her.  
  
1st March  
  
Me and Fornia are really good friends now. How weird is that? I'm actually friends with someone who didn't pull me from a Sarlacc. She told me what happened between the time I fell unconscious and waking up at her place. Dengar came back for me, cos he felt all guilty for leaving me. Guess I'm lucky Dengar has a soul, or I'd be a shrivelled up, Sarlacc-acid covered corpse on Tatooine, never mind being hacked to bits by a freaky Sith guy. So Den rescued me (again) and took me to his half-sister's place on Coruscant, cos it was closer than Correllia. He got me all 'not-dead-but- still-unconscious' but then he got a hologram saying his wife is pregnant so he had to dash off to Correllia before I woke up. He made Fornia promise to make sure I stayed here until I was ok again. I guess this must have put Fornia out a bit; after all, looking after your half-brother's bountying best mate is hardly high on a Correllian senator's to-do list. Probably. But me and Forn are cool now.  
  
I don't get what's happening to me. I keep getting all these 'nice' thoughts, like when Fornia said she'd spent last year campaigning to free slaves on Outer-Rim planers, instead of me thinking something along the lines of 'what a wasted year' I was actually all 'wasn't that nice of her?' It's really freaking me out, these peace-y, nice-y, happy, Jedi-y (for want of a better word) thoughts. Maybe Den's soul is rubbing of on me. Or Fornia's. Hell, I can't do this. I'm not meant to be nice.  
  
BF  
  
13TH March  
  
So much has happened. After my last entry, the soul thing just escalated. I was watching Holo-News with Forn and I heard this bit on how a bounty hunter had killed some Jedi, and I actually felt sorry for the Jedi who died. And I even started to regret some of the things I've done in my BH career. I mentioned this to Fornia, and she just smiled and said 'You are human then. Dengar thinks you're some kind of unfeeling bounty-droid.' I was all 'wha?' and Fornia was like 'Why do you think he left you here? Don't tell me you seriously swallowed that pregnant story. How naïve!' Again I was 'wha?' and she goes 'Den's been trying to make you all soul-ly for two years now, so it was quite lucky you stayed on Trangor Prime or you wouldn't have come here and I wouldn't have been able to re-soul you.'  
  
'Er, excuse me' said me 'but who said anything about me being re- souled?' Fornia smiled all knowingly and goes 'Please. It's written all over your face. You look like someone who actually experiences emotion now.'  
  
And d'you know what? For once I didn't have an answer. I just looked away. Because Fornia was right. What the hell is wrong with me?  
  
It gets worse. Me and Fornia were outside on her balcony type thing, just talking, and I said this utterly idiotic thing about the stars being pretty or whatever, and she totally took it the wrong way and goes on about how I'm all deep and philosophical and fantastic and a bunch of crap like that. I, obviously, pointed out that she was wrong, because I am, in fact, a horrible, soulless, heartless clone who goes around making credits off other people's lives. Duh.  
  
But then Fornia did that smile, the one that has my heart stopping, and said I was an idiot if I thought that about myself. I was about to say 'I must be an idiot then' when Fornia just kissed me. Not a peck on the cheek, a proper, full on, tongues-and-all-kiss. And to my eternal surprise, I kissed her back. And well... it didn't stop there; let's just leave it at that.  
  
I woke up next morning, her next to me. I was totally freaked out. Had a massive panic (yes! I actually was scared). Decided I couldn't do the whole relationship scene, I was, after all, a heartless evil bounty dude. Fornia was still asleep, so I rooted around the apartment for a bit and found all my Mandalorian stuff. I was about to leave, but this damned soul thing kicked in and was going 'you can't leave while she's asleep, you heartless sod.' So I waited. Then my bloody common sense started to have a go as well, and was like 'what are you going to say when she wakes up? You don't love her?' and unfortunately I think I do love her. Hell, this is complicated. So finally I took off one of my armour shoulder plates and put it on the pillow next to her. I hope she gets what I mean, cos it's kinda hard to say 'I love you but I can't do this' through a shoulder plate. She probably thinks I just forgot it or something. I am such an idiot.  
  
So I left the apartment and saw Slave I parked totally obviously on the building's landing platform. Talk about being discreet, Den. So I hopped on board, ready to get back to being old-school Boba, all soulless and stuff, but it didn't work. Bounties are kinda scarce at the mo', I guess Chayni Tular's new law and order-ness is working, so I'm gonna do the big trip. Go everywhere significant to me, and try to get my head together and sort out my wreck of a life.  
  
BF  
  
19TH March  
  
I think I've been enlightened. I went to all the places that mean something to me, Kamino, Geonosis, Tatooine, and there was nothing left. Tipoca City, from what I can gather, was destroyed during the Clone Wars, Geonosis has been deserted since that awful day Dad died, and Jabba's palace has always been ruined since the old Huttmeister died.  
  
So I kinda realised how stuff can't last without change or else it'll get destroyed. Jabba never changed his nefarious ways, so he died, the Kaminoans didn't stop the war and were destroyed because of it, and Geonosis speaks for itself. I think now I have to change or I'll get destroyed too.  
  
I guess everything that's happened to me has been trying to tell me this, and I never listened. It took my second near-death experience for me to realise that those who live by the blaster, die by the blaster. Kenobi, Palpatine, Vader, Jabba, even Dad. Ok so get technical none of them died by a blaster but you get my point.  
  
I'm not really explaining this well, but I know what I'm talking about. I think I'm gonna do a Dengar and go all good and stuff. And d'you know what rocks? I'm totally not bothered by that anymore. I can't believe I was freaked out by niceness and having a soul, and falling in love. Oh shit! Falling in love! Fornia!  
  
I can't believe I left her like that! I've got to go back. I hope she doesn't hate me. Right, screw this soul-searching stuff, I'm going to Coruscant.  
  
BF  
  
20TH March  
  
Well, here I am. In Fornia's apartment. And guess what? After I planned perfectly to the last word what I was going to say when she opened the door, she ain't here. D'oh. I, even though I'm Mr Nice now, still know a few BH tricks of the trade, like how to open auto-doors without setting off the alarm. That's how I got in here.  
  
I've been sitting here for about half an hour now. Hope Fornia ain't gonna be much longer. Getting more worried about what I'm gonna say when she gets back. She'll probably throw me out the window, knowing my luck. Ooh, she's gotta message on her Holo-projector. Should I listen?... no, nice people don't do that... ah, screw it.  
  
Just saw the great Chayni T in hologram form. The cheeky sod asked Forn out to dinner. I hope nothing's going on between them. Hang on, that sounded familiar... Tular just said something, and I'm sure I've heard it somewhere else... what was it? 'The great senator Alorida, refusing a beautiful dinner?' The way he said it, too, just like, like... the bloody Sith lord who tried to kill me on Trangor Prime! It couldn't be... Chayni Tular, Sith lord? He's done so many good things- restoring law and order, getting rid of loads of BHs by deploying the Jedi just in time on... Trangor Prime! Oh bloody hell! He sent the message about Suli and Zaen, and he wanted me away cos I'm the only BH capable of getting them! Oh shit! Fornia's with him!  
  
Later  
  
Phew. For a second there, I thought I'd lost her. Everything turned out ok, I suppose.  
  
Let me tell you what happened. After realising Forn was with that bastard Tular, I kinda dropped this diary, grabbed and put on my helmet and activated my jetpack all in one fluid, Matrix-y movement, and totally sped through the (shut) window, sending glass everywhere, but I was ok cos of armour, and I'm sure Fornia doesn't mind cos of me saving her life and stuff.  
  
So off I zoomed, through rush hour traffic no less, towards Cal's Cuisine, where Chayni had invited Forn to dinner. Got there to see Chayni Tular dangling Fornia off a balcony thing using some weird Force thing to levitate her, obviously just about to drop her or suffocate her or whatever. Everyone in Cal's was just staring at them in shock, clearly not wanting to make any sudden movements and make Tular kill Forn. Me, I still have that 'Dark Side may care' bounty hunter attitude, so I just totally flew down at top speed and aimed a flying kick at Chancellor T, knocking him off the balcony. Unfortunately whatever freaky thing Chayni was doing to levitate Forn was still happening, so she was sort of dragged off too. Not good.  
  
So without thinking I took a flying leap off the platform and zoomed down, jetpack at full throttle, and I opened fire on Tular, which made him let go of Fornia, obv. So she was now in total freefall (as opposed to freefall with a Sith lord strangling you). I caught her, natch. Damn it, I'm good.  
  
As you know, rush-hour Coruscant is thriving, and there was this HUGE crowd below, and when I caught Forn they all cheered. I got cheered! Crazy. But good crazy. Am totally in favour of niceness now. You get cheered!  
  
Landed in the middle of the crowd, set down Forn and she snatched my helmet off and gave me a typical Fornia look, and goes 'I don't know whether I want to kill you or kiss you' and I, Arrogance-ometer off the charts, go 'Well I'm thinking the kiss would be more fun'.  
  
So, I got the kiss, Fornia didn't get to be a splat on a Coruscant sidewalk, Tular didn't get to kill Forn, the Jedi didn't get Tular (no-one knows where he is. He ain't dead, more's the pity) and Holo-news got the biggest story of the year- 'Fett Foils Stupid Sith and Saves Sexy Senator'. Everyone was totally shocked to hear the Chancellor was a Sith (again) and even more shocked to see me of all people and Fornia kiss. The crowd was all 'what the hell is going on?' and were kinda mobbing me and Forn, so I just grabbed Forn and jet-packed back to the apartment. I sure hope this Tular thing dies down quickly, cos I'm really not keen on becoming a celeb. So I got my shoulder armour plate back too, with a massive dent in it. Dent apparently from when Fornia threw it at the Holo-radio after I left. Mental note: never upset her. Well, I'm kinda in love. Never saw why Dengar liked it but I get it now. Love, I think, may be cooler than E.C and more fun than drinking a Pan- Galactic-Gargle-Blaster in zero gravity. Speaking of Dengar, he holo'd me a second ago, and was like 'Dude! You're all over Holo-news!' so I watched it. Well freaky, I guess a reporter must have been at Cal's Cuisine, cos they've got the whole thing with me kickin Tular and catching Forn, and it's being played none-stop. Very funny also to see all these Coruscant citizens being interviewed on what they thought of the incident. Most of the responses were along the lines of 'what the hell?' and 'he's that clone guy, right?' Damn E.C. But we saved it onto Holo-disc anyway. I spose it's summat to show the grandkids. Which, I happily just realised, will NOT have to be clones. Yay! Life is good. Ooh gotta go; Forn says there's a bunch of reporters at the door asking for me, so better get the flamethrower.  
  
Bye Diary!  
  
BF  
  
(4 FA!) 


	3. Fornia's Diary

Fornia's Diary  
  
16th Jan, Coruscant  
  
Another dull day in my dull life. I am so bored. There's nothing to do ever since Chayni brought back law and order. The Senate is so dull. I thought when Chayni was made Supreme Chancellor all my troubles would cease to be, what with the Jedi helping out too, but I'm just so... bored now. Nothing interesting ever happens. The juiciest bit of today was hearing Chayni say some bounty hunters are attacking Trangor Prime and he's sending the Jedi to sort 'em out. How sad is that? That was the most exiting thing that happened to me.  
  
This place is dullsville. Please, by Force, let something interesting happen soon!  
  
Fornia  
  
18th January  
  
Well, I did ask for something interesting to happen. I didn't mean this though. I meant a dispute in the senate that I, brilliant Correllian senator Fornia Alorida, could sort out. But d'you know what I got instead? Boba freaking Fett.  
  
Here's what happened. I was just watching Holo-Vision™ here in the apartment, when there's this frantic buzzing of the sensor on the auto- door. I went to see who it was, and there was my prodigal half-brother Dengar, blood-soaked, looking forlornly at me.  
  
"What do you want?" I asked irritably. This might sound mean but Dengar only ever visits when he wants something. Plus, the Matrix Revolutions was on Holo-Vision, and I was trying to finally understand it.  
  
He goes "I was on Trangor Prime." I was worried then. He may be an ex- bounty hunter who only visits when he wants credits, but he's still my brother. I was all "Are you ok?" and he calmed me down, going "I'm fine, I wasn't in the battle. But a friend of mine got badly injured. He's nearly dead. Can I look after him here? Correllia was too far to take him. You were nearest. Please, Forn'."  
  
I couldn't refuse. Bounty hunter or not, no-one deserves to die prematurely. So I go "Sure. Who's this friend anyway?" and Dengar goes "Boba Fett."  
  
I swear I nearly had heart failure. I kind of croaked "What? The Boba Fett?" and Dengar went all sarcastically "No, the other Boba Fett. Of course the Boba Fett!"  
  
So, I let him in. Probably the biggest mistake I ever made. Dengar brought Fett in and put him in my best (the bloody cheek!) bedroom. I must admit, he did look pretty bad. There was blood all over his Mandalorian armour. I actually felt a bit sorry for the guy. But Dengar sorted him out. He's still unconscious though, but Den' said he'll be ok, he just needs to wake up in his own time. Then Den' made to leave. I was like "Where the heck are you going?" and he said he wanted me to 'work my magic' (his exact words) and make Fett a good guy. He said he'd been trying for two years ever since the Sarlacc thing and I'm good at telling people what to do (the cheek!). I was like "What am I gonna tell him when he wakes up? He might want to know where in the galaxy he is, or where you are!" and Den' goes "Make something up. You're a senator! Lying is easy for you guys!"  
  
I was totally getting on my soap-box at this point, but he just sighed and goes "Oh, just tell him Manaroo's pregnant and I had to dash off." And without another word, he did. Sigh.  
  
So now I'm left on my own with one unconscious clone (I know he is because on Holo-Vision they've been playing Earth-Culture movies all week and they had a 'Star Wars' marathon on the other day). I checked on him a couple of minutes ago. He doesn't look so bad now. He's just in his jumpsuit, all armour-less. I actually saw his face! He looks nothing like that dude who plays him in Star Wars (mind you no-one looks like the people who play 'em in Star Wars. Like Han Solo is that cute). But Fett actually looks a lot like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix. Hmm...  
  
Shall write what he's like when he wakes up  
  
Fornia  
  
22nd Jan  
  
Grrr. I don't like Fett. He may be really cute (Keanu Reeves cute!) but he's so... cold. He woke up today, and I went in and I suppose I was a bit mean because I said all snobbishly "You're awake then." And he just looked at me all indifferently and goes "Yes." Not even a 'who are you?' or 'where the heck am I?' So without waiting to be asked I just go "I'm Senator Fornia Alorida. I 'm Dengar's sister. He left you in my care while he's gone to see Manaroo, because she's pregnant."  
  
"Oh." That is all he said. What a jerk! Oh well, I'll have him eating out of my hand in due time.  
  
Fornia  
  
24th February  
  
Y'know, he ain't that bad now. He's ok. For the first week he was all common and stuff so I pretended to be super-posh to annoy him. Then this one day he goes "You don't look a bit like Dengar." I didn't know whether he was being sincere or not, so I said "Well, I'm only his half-sister." and we actually began to talk, about our families no less. He was asking me all these questions about my life and being Den's sister and stuff and he seemed genuinely interested. I asked him about his family (I already knew the truth cos I watched the Star Wars marathon) and I was expecting a lie, or him just to not answer, but do you know what? He told me. He actually admitted the clone thing to me. I felt kinda honoured, as I know he's never told anyone that before. There's a whole different side to this guy.  
  
Then I said something about the Matrix and the clones in that, and he didn't know about Earth-Culture! Can you believe that? Mind you, he was involved with the whole Empire/Rebel war, and everyone in with that missed E.C. So I got to introduce him to it. Got all my Holo-discs out first, played a bit of E.C's finest, put on the MHV Channel, the whole nine parsecs. Then did the movie thing. I think he enjoyed them. Ooh, and I showed him Star Wars. He was in shock for a bit, but then he got into it. All, "Oh yeah, like Vader was that tall!" He's quite sweet now, actually. Hm. Confused  
  
Fornia 1st March  
  
Told Boba what happened on Trangor Prime after he fell unconscious. He told me there was this Sith guy who attacked him! Force, they're back again. I'd better tell Chayni.  
  
Speaking of Chayni, I holo'd the Senate to let him know I wouldn't be in for a bit. Supreme Chancellor Stuck-Up I mean Tular was all "Senator Alorida, you cannot come and go as you please! You are a senator of the Republic! Your job is your priority!" Force, what a jerk. So I just said "I'm very sorry, Chancellor, but I have an inescapable family emergency." And I cut the connection. I would've told Chayni about the Sith, but he really annoys me, the self-righteous git. So he can find out himself. I'm sure his little Jedi lackey Skywalker will tell him.  
  
I'm totally getting through to bounty-boy now. I keep saying all this stuff I helped with in the Senate last year, like getting that anti-slaves on Outer-Rim planets bill passed, and I was expecting him to be all 'what a wasted year' but he was actually all "That was cool of you. That slave thing was pretty unfair."  
  
I don't get it. First I though I had him sussed, but he's totally confusing me. I keep dreading the day when he's fit again, cos he's just gonna leave.  
  
I'm so confused. I can't stand guys like him normally, y'know, all cold and haughty, but there's this kinda softer side to him. Am I in love?  
  
Fornia  
  
13th March  
  
Oh Force. I've made such a mistake. I'm so STUPID to think he could've been anything more that a heartless bounty hunter.  
  
I though we were really getting on well. I mean, he was getting better so he was more active, so we hung and talked and watched Holo-vision in the sitting room and stuff. We were watching HV one evening and it had a report on the ongoing Jedi/bounty hunter strife, cos some Jedi had got killed, and he said he felt kinda bad about all the stuff he'd done. I just wanted to yell 'I forgive you, wonderful one!' and declare my undying love for him, but I managed to restrain myself and say rather haughtily "You are human then. Dengar thinks you're some kind of unfeeling bounty droid. You're more IG-88 than IG-88." And he was all "What now?" so I told him the real reason Den left him here. He was all "I have not been re-souled!" and I was like "Please. It's all over your face. You look like a guy who actually experiences emotion now." He just looked away. There wasn't even a cocky comment. I think I must've touched a nerve or something, cos he seemed really freaked out. I guess he hasn't felt emotion for a long time, since he was, like, a kid. But, it doesn't stop there. We were on the balcony, talking, and he said something about the stars were all pretty and stuff, and I was amazed. I totally never imagined him ever saying that. I said to him "You are so hard to figure out! At first I thought I had you sussed as being this heartless evil guy, but now you're all deep and philosophical and 'my-aren't-the- stars-pretty?' You're so confusing!" He looked at me as if I'd gone crazy, and said "You're wrong. I'm not deep and nice and philosophical and all that, I'm just a horrible soulless clone who goes round making credits off other peoples mistakes, so you shouldn't think there's any more to me cos there isn't." I was screaming inwardly at this point, but I managed to keep my composure and I just smiled at him and said "You're an idiot if you think that about yourself." He looked so forlorn when I said this, and opened his mouth, and I bet he was going to say 'I must be an idiot then' but I couldn't wait any longer and I just kissed him. A proper, E.C. movies style kiss. And, he kissed me back. He actually kissed me!! I thought I was going to melt and turn into a pile of Correllian senator goo, but he was all strong and totally cool and before I knew it we were sort of falling into the bedroom... Whoa. But next morning everything went pear-shaped. Woke up expecting sleepy bounty dude next to me, and instead had Mandalorian shoulder armour plate thingy on pillow next to me, and nothing else. In denial, I searched the rest of the apartment, and nothing. 'The heartless sod's done a runner!' was my initial reaction, but thinking from his point of view he must be REALLY weirded out. But I'm in major pain here! I just wish I hadn't thrown myself at him like that. I feel such a fool. To make things worse Dengar holo'd to check how things were going, and I lied and said they were fine. I couldn't tell the truth! Den'd never forgive him. It'd totally wreck their friendship, plus Den'd probably track him down and try to kill him. And let's face it; he'd stand no chance against Boba Fett. What am I going to do?  
  
Fornia 14th March  
  
Went back to work today. Chayni very curious to know what kept me. I brushed it off, but felt on the verge of tears all day. When I went to lunch they had E.C. radio playing in the café, and every single song reminded me of him. I did cry a coupla times. Curse that Rod Stewart.  
  
But revelations at the senate after my lunch break. Was summoned to the office of mighty Tular to explain my absence fully, but when I arrived he was already in conference with Lucky Luke Skywalker, so I hovered outside the door, and I kinda heard what they were talking about.  
  
Skywalker was telling Chayni how a Sith had attacked him on Trangor Prime. Apparently there were these two force sensitive babies on Trangor Prime, and Luke and his posse were heading for them, cos they were creating a majorly big disturbance thingy in the Force. Well, once they got to the babies there was a Sith dude waiting for 'em, and he knocked them all out and made off with the kids, or so Luke assumed, cos when he woke up they were gone. He reckons this Sith guy wants them for apprentices, cos they were so Force-sensitive. He urged Chayni to let him look for the Sith. Chayni sounded very worried and told Luke to use any and all means necessary. So at least Boba was telling the truth about one thing; the Sith being there. But Boba said he and Dengar were there for a bounty. I think Chayni's got his wires crossed about the bounty hunting fraternity attacking Trangor Prime's citizens. There must've been a bounty on the babies, thinking logically. Maybe placed by the Sith himself! But then why was the Sith on Trangor Prime to fetch them, if he placed the bounty on them? Hmm. Anyway, Chayni and Skywalker can puzzle that one out. Got my own problems at the mo'. But I bet they don't know about the bounty on the babies! I only know about that cos of what Boba told me, and what I've figured out. I'd better tell Chayni about this.  
  
Fornia  
  
15th March  
  
I've spoken to Chayni. He was so grateful! Actually quite sweet for a Supreme Chancellor. Pity he's a Quermian, or he'd be potential boyf material! Y'see, it's these nice, un-evil guys I should go for!  
  
He wanted to know how I knew about the bounty, and I don't know why, but I ended up telling him the whole story, about me taking in Boba etc. He was so sympathetic, and listened to this massive crying rant I had 'bout Bo' leaving me like that. He's so kind and sympathetic, everything Boba could never be.  
  
I was so grateful to him. I really needed someone to talk to. I'm so glad he's here for me!  
  
Bit happier,  
  
Fornia  
  
20th March  
  
No improvements on the Sith front, but Chayni said my information has helped him more than I'll ever know. Sweetie! He's invited me to dinner tonight. I'm not sure if I should go, though. Not up to that yet.  
  
Later  
  
He holo'd me, imploring I should go. The cuteness! What a guy! Much better than that haughty sod who shall remain un-named. So, I'll go. It's at Cal's Cuisine, anyway. Talk about wining and dining! Yum, I love Mon Cal food. Joy! What a guy! Back around 10-ish! Don't wait up!  
  
Later  
  
Oh. My. Force. I take back everything!!! Bloody hell! Tonight has been full of bloody revelations, I tell you. And that guy, Boba Fett? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Here's what gives:  
  
Went to dinner with Chayni. He said he'd located the Sith. I was totally impressed natch, but what he said next was less impressive. He said he was the Sith. I swear I thought I misheard him. He's the Sith! Bloody hell!  
  
He explained it all, and everything fell into place. He placed the bounty on Suli and Zaen, to get all the BHs on Trangor Prime. Then, as Supreme Chancellor, he sent the Jedi to kill the BHs, who've both been thorns in his side, so he thought he could kill two womp-rats with one stone. He went to fetch the girls himself, trusting no BH to look after 'em. But Skywalker et al had felt the girls' groovy disturbance thing in the Force and came to investigate. Not wanting to kill them before his plan reached fruition, Tular left them unconscious.  
  
Then he met lil' ol' Boba there and tried to kill him, because he knew Bo' would tell people that the Sith were back. But Den' saved Bo', and Chayni's been trying to track down Boba since. Now he knows where he'll be, because he can use the babies as bait to lure Boba to him, and Chayni can kill him before the entire Galaxy knows the Sith are back.  
  
At that moment it was just me, Bo' and Skywalker who knew about the Sith returning. Then Chayni said: "Three people know the truth. No-one else must. Skywalker can be contained, controlled. He will not say anything unless I instruct him to. Fett, though, will tell the highest bidder. For this he must die. You, Senator Alorida, will tell everyone, because you are compassionate, and think everyone deserves to know the truth."  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, still not quite sure I was hearing correctly. "Because," he said, "I think you have a right to know why I am going to kill you." And then, I felt an invisible hand at my throat, like I know countless Imperials under Vader had before me. We were sitting on a balcony, away from the other Cal's patrons, so no-one noticed. Chayni levitated me off my chair, and over to the edge of the balcony. He followed me and I managed to kick him. His power over me loosened and I screamed. Everyone in Cal's looked at us. I heard Chayni curse, and he tightened his hold round my throat. I thought I was going to die then, but I heard this noise, like a jetpack, and saw a foot collide with Chayni's head. He went over the edge of the balcony, dragging me down with him. I caught a glimpse of a Mandalorian helmet before I fell, and I realised how much I love Bo'. I saw him dive after us, as me and Chayni were plummeting from the top of a 2000 storey building, and he shot at Tular, and then the strangle-hold round my neck was gone. I saw Chayni land in a 'Speeder, but I carried on falling. Guess what? Boba caught me, the fantastic God in Mandalorian armour that he is. As it was rush-hour Coruscant, a massive cheer was given for Bo' and me. I pulled off his helmet when we landed, and he looked all 'wide-eyed innocent lil' clone' at me. I melted then and forgave him, and totally kissed him in front of everyone on Coruscant, including this Holo-News™ crew. I don't think he was too embarrassed. Then he was all Mr Darcy and carried me in his arms back to the apartment. Force, but he's fine. I explained about the whole 'Chayni's the Sith' thing, and he was like "I figured it out". I love him. The entire galaxy's in shock though. The Supreme Chancellor was a Sith AGAIN, so poo. Holo-News™ did a two hour special on the whole thing. I think me and Bo' are celebrities now. Urk. I holo'd Den' too, to apologise and tell the truth and stuff. He was cool though. Glad that everything turned out ok. I think everything's going to be fine.  
  
A very loved-up  
  
Fornia 


End file.
